My Guru is My Life

By Sujata Mohapatra

As a devoted and dedicated disciple of his, having great admiration of him and his work, as one who has been shaped by his vision of style and technique, as one of his leading disciples, and as his daughter-in-law, I have been blessed with unique, special and meaningful experiences with my guru Padmavibhusan Guru Shri Kelucharan Mohapatra.

I still remember the day I had my first class with him. I touched his feet and he blessed me and immediately called me “Kali, To Gharra Keunthi” (Kali – dark color, where is your house). I said, “Balasore”. He remarked, “O’ Balasoria. OK.” and then he laughed. He hadn’t asked anyone else but me.

The 1st Konark dance festival went on in 1989, and I was part of the new batch in the Odissi Research Centre then. Guruji taught there, and that year he composed the dance drama “Chandrabhaga”. The dance drama had some of the renowned dancers and Gurus including, Sanjukta Panigrahi, Kumkum Mohanty, Illeana Citaristi, Guru Gangadhar Pradhan, and Guru Ramani Ranjan Jena, Shri Ratikant Mohapatra and others. Guruji was composing from 10am to 11pm in the night.

One day, everybody else had left, and I was sitting in a corner carefully observing Guruji composing with his eyes closed. While I was looking at him, he suddenly opened his eyes and caught my look. He asked me what I was thinking, and I told him that I was watching how he composed. He had choreographed something in his mind, and he wanted me to dance what he envisioned. I was just a new student then, with no experience with him, and so I was very nervous. Yet, somehow I was able to do what he had wanted, and even the other great dancers and masters were impressed and wanted me to show them again. Since it was a folk type of step, it was more natural for me. Guruji then gave me the role of one of the five Devis (Goddesses), for whom this step was choreographed. The day of the performance came, and the audience seemed to really appreciate my dance. I gained a different appreciation for Guruji’s teaching. He was very happy to see his vision come alive through my dance. This was the first success in my dance life, which began with his blessings and faith.

I was a serious student of his in Odissi Research Centre, and my personal goal was to learn Guruji’s proper technique and style. I had started learning from my mother when I was five years old and continued in a very different style. After training under Guruji, I felt a great change in my body language.

Guruji was pleased with my figure as an Odissi dancer. I was so thrilled when I learnt that he told others that if this girl will continue with this dance, she has a lovely figure for our dance style and will go far. Perhaps, from this time, he already had a lot of hope for me, giving me his blessings and love, and the attachment that developed resulted in him wanting for me to become his family member, as wife to his son, Ratikant. He must have seen something in me to choose me for his daughter-in-law in the hope to see his legacy continue through both Ratikant and myself. He trained us with that hope.

I feel very lucky because of my relationship with Guruji. Every student of Guruji’s is like a family member in his Gurukul, but the difference is that they come and spend time with Guruji, give him a Guru Dakshina (payment for Guru) and then return to their own place. Since I had become his daughter-in-law, I was with him all the time, sharing all his happiness and sorrow, and being able to serve him constantly, and my Seva (devoted work to Guruji) became my Guru Dakshina. What fortune for me to be able to learn with him everyday and have my body molded by his vision. He has spent valuable time in teaching me the various aspects of Odissi to enable me to become an authentic dancer and teacher of his technique and dance style. I feel indebted to him, and the dancer I am today is due to his blessings. I honestly wish to continue to fulfill his expectation of me.

I always felt that God sent me to his house, and dance was the media through which I could reach my own God, Guruji. For me, Guruji is my Jagannath in my world. When he died on April 7th, I felt the world had lost a man of dignity, a legend, but I lost my world. I felt my life was lost after my Guru’s death. How can he who represented my world be replaced? Yet, he is the one who would want for me to continue in his path. Now, I feel my world will not completely disappear if I have the support of those who appreciate my dance and also the support of my husband. Already I am grateful to my husband and the senior students, lovable Apas (older sisters), the elder daughters in our Gurukul, not only in India but Abroad also.

Guruji had many special qualities. I really admired his patience. Guruji had faced a lot of pain in his life. Yet, he had so much patience to deal with all the pain. Now, I am remembering him, and trying to learn how to be more patient like him. Every great artist has had to sacrifice in his/her life, and Guruji was no exception in that matter. Now, I am able to understand that if such a great legend, like Guruji, could take so much pain and sacrifice his own happiness in life for dance, then for me as his disciple, I must learn this too if I wish to reach the same destiny in Odissi.

Guruji was very much a karma yogi. He always did his work, his duty in life, and wanted to be able to do that work until the day he was no longer. I wish to follow his footsteps in this respect also.

Guruji had such a great pride in his own culture as an Oriya, and coincidentally his last performance was for Utkal Divas (Orissa Day) at Lucknow on April 1st, just six days before passing away. In that performance, we had a very special and unique experience. Normally in programs in which Guruji, Ratikant and I perform, either Guruji or Ratikant would perform the Mangalacharan. That day, Guruji felt that we three should perform Mangalacharan together. He chose the “Namami Shlokam”, and invocational prayer to Lord Ganesh. Towards the end of the shlokam, Guruji changed the choreography so that he became Lord Ganesh, and he had instructed Ratikant and I to bow to him to receive his blessings. At the time, we had no idea that the blessings he gave us in this last performance of his, would be so meaningful to us.

Guru always gives a new life. The Guru leads the student from darkness to light, ignorance to bliss. I am also one of them who got a new life from my Guru, who had trained me and made me a dancer in my own right with a reputation of truly displaying his technique and style.

Not only as my Guru, but also as my father-in-law, he was my great strength and support to lead a smooth family life together at home and also at performances. He felt the importance of having both family life and the art, in unison, never separated.

He was my strength; he is my strength and he will be my strength.

I love him as a person, as a father-in-law, as a Guru, and as the best grandfather for my daughter, Preetisha, and a great supporter of my life.

My Guru is my life.